I am not a core sports fan but sometimes watch Foot Ball in passing moments. When a match is being played on television, just as a player is about to hit a goal, I see my family on the edge of their seat. I stop and watch that wonderful moment play out and get goosebumps as the players rejoice. Accomplishments, Achievements, Triumphs feel wonderful, don’t they? They fuel a sense of joy and fulfilment. But it all begins with the player having a goal to get a goal, doesn't it?
We wish for many things in different areas of our life, such as I wish I had better communication skills, I want to be a CEO, I want to lose weight, a dream to own a library at home someday and many more. Sometimes these wishes may just remain as wishes, wants and dreams because though they represent aspirations, hope, happiness, they probably also have hidden beliefs such as “ I don’t deserve it”,” Is it even possible?” “ I would like to, but can’t have it”, “It’s for someone who is better” and so on. I was someone who always doubted my worthiness and my coach asked me, “How do you know that you cannot achieve your dreams? I had no answer. My coach then asked ” What would help you find out? “One way could be to try and find out “, was my reply!
I realized that rather than wondering my entire life as possible vs not possible I wanted to get into the process and find joy in the journey towards my vision. I sensed my dream was bigger than my ego and felt certain that whether successful or not, the journey will help me learn and grow. I made a choice to grow and drew a sheet full of colourful dreams with an intention to pursue them.
People are afraid to pursue their most important dreams because they feel that they don’t deserve them, or that they’ll be unable to achieve them, or of moments that could have been good but weren’t.
They don't suffer. But they don't live either
- Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist
Dreams to Goal :
I am really not sure as to how this word got coined. Initially, when people spoke to me about goals and smart goals it felt very clinical and thought of it as an unnecessary activity. I used to wonder, I know what I want to achieve so what’s more to think about it? But when my coach asked me specific questions about what I wanted to accomplish professionally I realized that I only had a vague idea of what I wanted. Also, it became evident to me that I have no idea how to get there. As I began to define my goals I realized writing goals is a process which brings clarity, focus and also calls for action. When we talk about wants and dreams they sound more as hope. It is like wishing that something on the external happens and what we want falls into our lap. But when we say Goal, we take responsibility, take charge of our life and chart our journey with focus and action. Isn’t that better than just wishful thinking? One way to give shape and form to our dreams and wishes is by stating them in the form of a Goal.
Does it have to be called a Goal? Not really! You can call it outcomes, result, vision, performance or whatever feels right for you. More than the word it is the process of working with what we want to create that is important. But whatever you call it, make sure it is motivating and inspiring
How does Goal Setting help?
1. You stop complaining or blaming the external world :
When we begin to write our goals we are focusing on” creation”. Creation manifests positivity, so we state the goal in the positive and all our energy and focus goes there. I remember my daughter used to say “ I don’t want my friends to get better marks than me” Really? How do we stop them I would say. She then changed her goal to “ I want to score X marks in the upcoming term”
2. You get ready to take risks and face your fear.
I think in the act of writing down our goals we challenge our belief of “ I won't be able” and reframe it as “ I can do it”. That gets us going. The process of goal defining helps us replace fear with commitment.
3. You get clear about what You do not want.
This was during the time my training career had just taken off, and I was welcoming all the work I was getting. I used to visit my goal occasionally to check if I was on the right path, and that helped me realize that there is some work I would like to say No to. So I began refining my goal statement with the process of elimination. That again helped me to get more focused and determined about what I wanted for myself.
4. Your unconscious guides you :
The process of goal setting offers so much clarity and focus that it becomes a sensory experience. We see a vision, the main path, inside lanes, passing lanes. We know what we need for the journey and to check for recognizing that we are packed for the journey. Know how to check for milestones and when to stop for fuel. That is why some people prefer to draw their goals, use colours or use picture themes. Then, once you write your goal you need not refer to it as a map each day. The powerful unconscious will hold the map for you.
5. You experience a sense of purpose, joy:
Some of us believe that a goal has to be long-term and something very substantial such as making an x amount of money in the next five years. Need not be. It could be as simple as what “Russell “wanted for himself in the movie “ Up”. His goal was to earn the wilderness explorer batch for helping the elderly before the upcoming ceremony where he would get the honour of being called as the senior wilderness explorer. Take a look at him.... his determination, focus, the joy in his eyes, as he states his goal.
Not met Russel yet? Here he is
The sheer joy of exploring and moving towards what we want makes life more meaningful, and that is why you need to create a new goal for yourself once you achieve the current one!
Goals are not just words but powerful possibilities and aspirations.
What is your dream? What are your goals?
“People with goals succeed because they know where they are going… It’s as simple as that “ Earl Nightingale.
Keep that smile on!